This post is the first part of The nerd guide to lifestyle design: an engineered process to create your inspiring life.
I’ve got a confidence to make: I don’t like my side job.
Some people would call it my 9-to-5 job. But to me, it’s more of an aside in my life. It only helps paying the bills, for now.
That’s why I decided to turn things around and started Dream Set Achieve. I’m committed to building a different life for myself and to inspire others to do the same.
What about you?
Do you believe you can let go of the past and build a brighter future for yourself? And if so, are you willing to do what it takes to turn your life around?
Or are you going to give up half way through?
If you’re someone who’s committed to follow through and give your life a reboot, stay with me.
Here’s the deal: We’re going to get through the exact steps that will allow you to take a new start and build the life you want.
To take a fresh start, you need to adopt a blue sky approach. You’ve got to clear out the clouds and look at your future with new eyes.
Let’s start with a blank canvas. That means…
1. Letting go
If you haven’t already, you need to let go of the past. Yes, where you are today is the result of your past actions. But what you do now is what will dictate your future.
Now counts. So make it count.
Letting go of the past isn’t an easy task. It comes back haunting you all the time. You can’t get it out of your head.
I had a bad experience in a previous job, which impacted my confidence. The only way for me to move forward was to let it go.
So, how can you let go of the past?
First, you need to acknowledge the negative thoughts in your head. Notice when they come up. Once you become more aware of these thoughts, you’ll start to realize your outcome on life is entirely under your control.
You can decide to indulge in negative thoughts. Or you can choose to acknowledge them, then dismiss them and focus on other thoughts that will help you move forward. Since you’re committed to turning your life around, you know you’re going to take the second option.
The faster you decide to focus on the present and your future, the quicker you’ll let go of the past. Focusing on what you can do right now to build your future will shift your mindset to more positive outcomes.
Once you do that, you’ll also let go of your limiting beliefs. You’ll open the road for building yourself a life that inspires you and others.
Take your time if you must, but let go of the past. Clear out the clutter.
Once I had let go of the past, I could turn things around and start Dream Set Achieve. I could focus on what I needed to do to get it up and running.
2. Blue sky
You’re now ready to build anew. But, are your clear on what you want to build?
Here’s how you can find out.
It’s time for the blue sky approach to come into play. Now that you’ve cleared out the clouds, your next step is to visualize your future.
Today, allow yourself to dream big. Remember: your limiting beliefs are behind you. Don’t worry about the how right now. Focus on what you want, you’ll figure out the rest later.
So, what do you want in your ideal life? In terms of business, finances, family, relationships? Take your time to picture your ideal life.
Once you’ve visualized it in details, decide on specific goals you want to reach. Write them down.
Then, from your list, pick 5 goals that are most important to you right now. Keep the rest for later.
Now, think about these 5 goals. How do they make you feel?
Make sure they excite you. If they don’t get you up in the morning, they’re not good enough. If that’s the case, work on your list until you get it right.
Then, make a plan to reach those goals. What are the steps you need to take to get there? What can you do this week to get the ball rolling?
The more detailed you are with your goals, the more concrete your new reality will become. This is part of your new start in life.
Once I had decided to start Dream Set Achieve, I set myself goals. My first goals were to:
- Research my niche by the end of the first month
- Setup a website the second month
- Write one post a week
Then, I started executing on the plan.
3. Your people
Jim Rohn famously said: You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
As such, there’s no scientific proof to that statement. But it illustrates how people around you influence the kind of person you are and are becoming. Pay attention to your life and you’ll notice how people surrounding you affect who you are.
What’s the bottom line?
You need people around you who will support you and lift you up to create your ideal lifestyle. You also want them to hold you accountable for what you promised you would build.
If you’re surrounded by toxic people who want to drag you back to a mediocre life, you’ll have to get rid of them. Harsh, but true.
Create the environment you need to build your new life. Ideally, you want to spend time with people who are already living the life you want. People who can guide you on your journey.
Also, pay attention to how you’re holding yourself accountable.
If you notice you have a tendency to be lenient towards yourself, seek out an accountability partner. You can find mastermind and accountability groups on the web (E.g. Meetup , The Miracle morning accountability group).
On my journey, I’ve joined several mastermind groups to mingle with like-minded people.
Study successful people that you want to imitate. By reading their books, biographies, blogs, interviews or articles featuring them.
Immerse yourself in their thinking and way of life. Find their habits and routines and replicate them.
This indirect style of mentorship is another way to fast track your growth towards your new life.
Focus on learning from others. Invest in yourself if you want to turn your life around and build an inspiring one.
This is a principle I’ve taken to heart. I listen to tons of podcasts and read biographies and business books on a consistent basis. It’s given me a lot of insights to accelerate my progress.
On your journey, focus on your growth. Measure your progress and compare yourself to the person you were yesterday.
You’re not going to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. You’re not that type of person.
Your new identity is of someone independent. You know what you want and you’re committed to growth.
Personally, I always focus on growth. And I raise my standards every three months.
Yes, change is hard. This is why you need to reward your new good behaviors at first.
Because rewarding yourself encourages the release of dopamine in your brain. And dopamine will keep your motivation flowing.
This, until you’ve built intrinsic motivation and new habits.
At that stage, it’s still important to celebrate big wins. Being proud of your achievements will cause the release of serotonin. And serotonin will make you happy.
6. The new you
Before you know it, you’ll have become a different person. You’ll have built momentum and confidence.
You’ll be fully committed to your new life. You’ll have created your new identity.
People surrounding you will further fuel your growth and help you forge your new identity.
Now it’s up to you to prove you’re someone who can let go of the past and build a brighter future. To show yourself and the world that you’re willing to do what it takes to turn your life around.
Your new life can start now. But are you ready for it?